| Volksjoolz |
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the flat
> >>The techno was blaring, 'twas too loud to chat
> >>The rizlas were perched on the table with care
> >>And smoke full of chemicals soon filled the air
> >>
> >>We'd just been out clubbing, I truly was trashed
> >>My friends were all here and equally mashed
> >>We'd popped a few pills and we'd had a quick sniff
> >>And just settled down to a nice tasty spliff
> >>
> >>When out on the balcony rose such a clatter
> >>We looked slowly up to see what was the matter
> >>I got to my feet and I swayed to the door
> >>And only occasionally fell on the floor
> >>
> >>I peered through the glass as I took a long puff
> >>The land glistened softly with rubbish and stuff
> >>When what to my wandering eyes should appear
> >>But a fat man in red and a team of reindeer
> >>
> >>He yelled and he ranted, gave each one a kick
> >>I knew in a second it must be Saint Nick
> >>He shrieked at each Reindeer and cursed them alike
> >>"#$% you!" yelled Rudolph "we're going on strike!"
> >>
> >>The reindeer did turn and soar into the sky
> >>And Santa growled something that wasn't goodbye
> >>I watched as they went in a puff of pink smoke
> >>And vowed from now on to stay off of the coke
> >>
> >>As debris did settle St Nick turned around
> >>He swore as he angrily kicked at the ground
> >>He gave me a gesture that clearly implied
> >>He'd be very pleased if I let him inside
> >>
> >>I threw the doors open and ushered him in
> >>Invited him through with a welcoming grin
> >>"So where are our presents?" my smashed flatmate cried
> >>With a look of astonishment, Santa replied;
> >>
> >>"You seriously think you might be on my list?
> >>You've got to be kidding, you're taking the piss!
> >>Have you lot considered your actions this year?
> >>Stop being stupid and get me a beer."
> >>
> >>He opened a tooheys, but still looked depressed
> >>We asked him to tell us what made him so stressed
> >>"My reindeer have left me" he said with a sigh
> >>"Unless I have reindeer I've no way to fly!"
> >>
> >>"Now look here" I told him "we may not know much
> >>We don't help old ladies, kiss babies and such,
> >>But Santa, there's no need for you to despair
> >>We know how to get you back up in the air!"
> >>
> >>I chopped up a line with precision and skill
> >>And rolled him up neatly a £20 bill
> >>His face lit up quickly with real Christmas cheer
> >>"Perhaps you kids WILL get some presents this year!"
> >>
> >>He spoke not a word but got straight to his mission
> >>He snorted that line with wholehearted ambition
> >>Then Santa skinned up and he smiled as he puffed
> >>We knew that our stockings this year would be stuffed
> >>
> >>He sprang to the balcony, leapt from the railing
> >>Soared to the sky with his present-sack trailing
> >>I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
> >>"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
:haha: :stongue: |
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