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Subject: International Dating Etiquette
CAUCASIAN WOMAN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.
BLACK WOMAN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive
dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you!
IRISH WOMAN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMAN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
JEWISH WOMAN:
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
MIDDLE EASTERN WOMAN:
First Date: You fill out the mandatory family questionnaire listing all your
assets.
Second Date: You go out to the park with her and her whole family comes
along.
Third Date: She claims she's a virgin and refuses to have sex with you.
Fourth Date: She makes up for the past ten years of sexual deprivation in
one night. You're rushed to a hospital for exhaustion.
LATIN WOMAN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have
sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She is pregnant.
Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and
live happily ever after eating rice and beans in
the Bronx.
POLISH WOMAN
First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the
wrong address.
Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to
the restaurant and then again going home.
Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.
KOREAN WOMAN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already
realized nothing is going to happen.
INDIAN WOMAN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night. |
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