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| brandi604 |
Men Are Like....
Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like.....Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Men are like.....Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.
Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY wanted for Mother's Day
10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash).
9. To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.
8. Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.
7. A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.
6. A full time cleaning person who looks like Brad Pitt.
5. For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"
4. A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.
3. To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.
2. To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me...!"
1. Four words:Fisher Price Play Prison!
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet |
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| patticus |
| quote: | Originally posted by zarathustra
How do you turn a fox into and elephant?
You marry the fox!!!:toothless :toothless :toothless |
haha thats good |
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| DJ.MD |
a naked pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his dick?
the bartender askeds why he has it
he replies" Arghh is driving me nuts"
teehee |
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| brandi604 |
wanna play magic?????
: ok
Ok, come over to my house, i'll k your brains out , then u can dissapear..
HAHAHA |
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tranceaddict Forums Archive > Local Scene Info / Discussion > Canada > Canada - Western Canada
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