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| RaVVaR |
| I wana laugh, tell me funny jokes... :toothless |
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| Teflon_Teapot |
this one is pretty lame but hey
Prior Notice
It is likely that the AFL competition for 2006 will have to be
cancelled!
Under the new Anti-Terrorism Laws, the Bombers are banned.
The new Industrial Relations legislation rules out the Dockers.
The Asian flu epidemic is wreaking havoc with the Crows, Eagles, Hawks, Magpies, and Swans.
Any transfers to the Kangaroos, Cats, Lions, Dogs, and Tigers, must now be quarantined for at least 12 months.
Religious vilification laws mean that no-one can legally barrack for the Demons, or the Saints.
There are promises of Power failures in SA because of the states
reliance on the interconnectors from Victoria.
This only leaves the Blues, who no-one wants to barrack for anyway.
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| how about MissyM\'s grasp & command of the english language? ;) |
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| Trance Nutter |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
how about MissyM's grasp & command of the english language? ;) |
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
\"Mum,\" he asked, \"are these my brains?\"
\"Not yet,\" she replied. |
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| Teflon_Teapot |
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the
boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this
one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male
bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can
achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
minutes.
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| Anomyst |
Cuddles was an aged poodle, who got lost in a game reserve.
Wandering about, Cuddles notices a young virile leopard heading in her
direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh,
oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard
is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, terror
overcomes him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard,
"That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard in the future. So off he goes, but the old
poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills
the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and I'll show you what's going to happen to that
conniving old canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming back with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, Cuddles
sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't see them yet,
and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's
that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story: Bull and brilliance come only with age and
experience ..... so don't mess with the old ones |
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| 00soups00 |
Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr."
"This is my second son. He is a martyr also."
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully,
"They blow up so fast, don’t they?" |
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