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| Anomyst |
Sorry for the email crap.... Cbf fixing it
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a
>>>>>>particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him
>>>>>>for
>>>a
>>>>>>couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet,
>>>>>>extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will
>>>>>>you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
>>>>>>"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
>>>>>>"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man
>>>asked.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.
>>>>>>"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
>>>>>>"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of
>>>food?"
>>>>>>the man asked.
>>>>>>"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf
>>>>>>in
20
years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district
instead
of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the
homeless
man.
>>>>>>"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money.
>>>>>>Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
>>>>>>The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with
>>>>>>you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.
The man replied, "that's okay. It's important for her to see what
a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex." |
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| Trance Nutter |
A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas, walks into a bar and
orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a
sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the
bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes
flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in
Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas,
we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank
together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for
myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same
way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take
notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second
round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I
wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in
her eyes and she laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my
husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my sisters though." |
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| RaVVaR |
| lol ! keep em coming guys ... :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| Light The Fuse |
guy walks into a bar
he says "teepee wigwam. teepee, wigwam. teepee wigwam"
bartender says "relax maaan, your just to tense (tents)" |
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| Philby |
| hahahaha jpl :D :D :D |
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