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| Teflon_Teapot |
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the
boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this
one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male
bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can
achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
minutes.
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| Anomyst |
Cuddles was an aged poodle, who got lost in a game reserve.
Wandering about, Cuddles notices a young virile leopard heading in her
direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh,
oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard
is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, terror
overcomes him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard,
"That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard in the future. So off he goes, but the old
poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills
the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and I'll show you what's going to happen to that
conniving old canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming back with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, Cuddles
sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't see them yet,
and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's
that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story: Bull and brilliance come only with age and
experience ..... so don't mess with the old ones |
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| 00soups00 |
Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr."
"This is my second son. He is a martyr also."
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully,
"They blow up so fast, don’t they?" |
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| Anomyst |
| quote: | Originally posted by 00soups00
Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr."
"This is my second son. He is a martyr also."
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully,
"They blow up so fast, don’t they?" |
hahahahahaha
Thats ing gold soups!!!!!!!
On the floor!!
/Blows up laughing. |
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| Dean Millson |
An Australian, a Kiwi and South African are in a bar one night having a beer.
All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. "In Seth Efrika our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice," he says.
The Kiwi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. "Wull mate, in Niw Zulland we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out the same glass either," he says.
The Australian, cool as a Koala, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the South African and Kiwi.
He turns to the astonished barman and says, "In Austraalia we have so many bloody South Africans and Kiwis that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
;) |
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