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The Biro - Something to chew on...
Biros are like Japanese cars. They're cheap, they start first time and they come in many colours. Of course Japanese cars don't have the little unexplained hole in the side but then as we know our Japanese friends are obsessed with quarity. The most common biro is the Bic biro, named after its inventor Hugo Tampon, who for understandable reasons changed his name to Hugo Bic.
Twenty-six million biros are produced annually in Britain, of which 95% are used and then thrown away. The other 5% go to biro heaven in the top pockets of train spotters and distribution managers in warehouses. In the subtle hierarchies that rule the world of train spotting, preference on the platform is often given to those with the rare and much prized green biro.
A great mystery is what happens to the tops of biros, the little plastic things that look like a fifties representation of a space ship. Detailed research, were someone dull enough to do it, would probably show that most biro tops are permanently separated from their pens within the first thirty minutes of use. These tops have been specially designed not to be useful for any other function in the world except one, and that is executive nipple substitute. To the highly stressed, a biro is complete meal. First you bend back the clip bit from the top and then bite it off. Then you mangle the top between your teeth, suck out the little stopper from the top of the pen, and crunch away at the pen itself. Real addicts chew down the inside plastic bit and wash it down with a mouthful of ink.
Very occasionally a biro will dry up on you even though you can clearly see that most of the ink is still in it. This generally happens when you're signing a multi-million pound deal or a major peace treaty. Remember, it's no good scrubbing away at the paper with heavy handed loop the loops, ticks and cross hatching. It'll ruin the treaty and it won't work. Simply breathe deeply, accept the fact that if it doesn't restart after a couple of good strokes it's dead, and consign it and world peace to the dustbin.
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Mildly amusing piece i stumbled across at work while raiding google. |
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| Minihero |
| Haha, nice. That reminds me of our trek around Leicester to find that green biro. Couldn't find one anywhere :wtf: |
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| Coup |
| quote: | Originally posted by Minihero
Haha, nice. That reminds me of our trek around Leicester to find that green biro. Couldn't find one anywhere :wtf: |
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
u always remember the random i forgot long ago lol |
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| Minihero |
| It's one of my few useless skills :D |
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