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| Jamie_ |
Did you hear about the gay bank robber?
He tied up the safe and blew the guard.
What do you call a gay dentist?
A tooth fairy.
What do you call a couple of gay lawyers?
Legal aids
What's the definition of Scotland?
A place where men are men and sheep are nervous
What do gays refer to hemorrhoids as?
Speed bumps
Did you hear about the 2 irish gays?
Hugh Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzhugh
What 3 things do gays like to do the most?
Eat, Drink, and be Mary
Why was the queer fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught drinking on the job
What happens to a man who spends the night at a gay bar?
He wakes up with a queer taste in his mouth
What do you call a jewish homosexual?
A Heblew
Which is better, being born black or gay?
Black, because you don't have to tell your parents
Why was the gay sergeant fired?
For the way he drilled his troops
Why did the gay jerk off into a paper bag and hand it to his lover?
He was packing him a lunch
How do you get rid of the crabs?
Find a gay that likes seafood
What did one gay dentist say to the other?
You have the whitest teeth i've ever come across
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A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He
went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from
higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump
from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell
him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the
sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.
About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a
time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last
man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too
scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto
the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master.
The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250
pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, `No,
sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and
took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big
around as a baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that
door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"
"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first."
:stongue: |
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| Jamie_ |
A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road from
the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the man leans out the
window and yells, COW! The women immediately leans out of her window and
yells, TOSSER!
They each continue on their way, and as the women rounds the next curve,
she crashes into a huge cow in the middle of the road and dies........
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: If only women would listen. |
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| Jamie_ |
Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens
at the windshields of airliners, and military jets , all traveling at
maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of
collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the
windshields of their new high speed trains.
Arrangements were made,and a gun was sent to the American engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled
out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to
smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's
back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an
arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the
experiment,along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British
scientists for suggestions.
You're going to love this......
Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:
"Defrost the chicken." |
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| Ste |
haha, you must be bored :p
i'll merge these bad boys together :D |
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