| BOSA |
An open letter from Bosa M.D. to Captain Crunch, figure head for my favourite cereal:
Dear Captain:
I would like to express both my admiration and tidings to you in this the holiday season.
Your ceareal "Captain Crunch" in cooperation with The General Mills Food distribution Corporation has succeeded in enlisting a rather large and
feircely loyal group of followers whos aligence is to you and your cause.
Your command is absolute Sir.
I recall as a boy, with youthful zeal watching your commercials, while the masses with their porridge and Special K saw simple cartoons, I saw a tactical paradise. You fought bravely against all who challanged you.
In milk many feared as did i at times, Captain Crunch Cereal would become soggy and lifeless, but nay a challanger could avoid the painful crunch and slightly overbearing tearing sensation at the top of your mouth after tasting your Cereal. But as they say, time heals all wounds.
During the Ceareal Warefae of the early 1980's, numerous rivals ventured forth to stake their claims. In due time I would come to the realization that most of your so-called competitors were simply re-written versions of old cartoon characters who reprsented the same cereal but with the addition of more sugar or a different food colouring perhaps.
But you fine Sir were firm in your resolve; the Captain of the Crunch.
While other cereals espoused the benifits of more sugar, of greater flavour, or of the best prize, you chose the most noble of pursuits;
In the face of The American Dairy association's proclaimations that "milk does a body good"
You did not fear milk. You did not fear the minions who would pour
gallons of pearly white gold over your treasured cereal.
Why even today, when i open a box of Captain Crunch Cereal I hear a distant laugh as I spike that delicious concoction of corn, high-fructose corn syrup, and BHT (for freshness) with 2% or even homogenized goodness.
Perhaps the great wars that marred the Eruopean Country-side in the 20th century could have been duly averted if not for the braveness and tact of you Sir. Give the Germans their Generals and Colnels, give them their Seargents and Luitenants,
I need but a good Captain to lead me into battle.
I will not fear the enemy, just as you did not fear milk, I will remain steadfast in combat as did the crunch of your cereal against seemingly impossible odds.
Captain Crunch was more than a cereal, it was a call to arms.
I have since traded my morning ceareal for a coffee and bagel,
all things change as they say.
But a small part of me shall always look back with a smile at those days spent enjoying Captain Crunch Cereal....lest we forget.
forever your most loyal soldier,
Bosa M.D. |
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