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| webmeister |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ian Vanderson
Are there any snake-free locations in Australia? |
Short answer, no :)
This might help you, a few common questions from tourists :)
| quote: |
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? Thanks from Sweden!
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay?
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross [Sydney's red light district]. Come naked, bring beer.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia?
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked, bring beer.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia?
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population?
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.(USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help?
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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| Ian Vanderson |
:eek: No cash machines everywhere? Oh damn! :eek:
:haha: :haha: :haha:
Could stop laughing by now. :toothless :stongue:
Seem to be a very amazing life in Autralia... while wearing a snake-bit-safe Spacesuit. :D
Oh my Goodness, you Guys make me fear. *g* Perhaps I should really settle to New Zealand,
and sometimes fly over to Australia for making party. :toocool: |
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| webmeister |
| Also note that Australia's national pastime is winding people up, especially foreigners ;) |
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| lethal |
| Remember to keep an eye out for Dropbears if you go out bush........ theyre dangerous buggers thats for sure!!!! |
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| gilmista |
boxing kangaroo's are just the beginning ! :stongue:
disclaimer: sorry i am just writing anything because I am this close to 500 posts !!! - warning : this may happen again for the next 15 or so posts so bare with me |
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