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Originally posted by Vector A Lira, I think one reason the "Whoa, look at this person's transformation; it's so convincing!" thing is offensive, is that it kind of presumes that putting on a good "illusion" and "fitting in" with current gender norms re: looks is the "proper" goal of a transition. Even if that might not be the connotation you intended.

See I don't really find it offensive in a personal way, but what youre saying is absolutely right. I would say that it's more beside the point to me, at best, and at worst it focuses on the wrong aspects of transition, and the worst things about gender stereotypes. (eg that a woman has to be pretty to be successful)

The 'convincing' thing is however, offensive, because that implies something not authentic about someone's identity, whereby that person's transsexual identity is less valid than a cissexual identity. I didn't get that Lira was talking about it in this way though, or that he even cares so much about the link. I just find these kinds of 'stories' about transition to be really unfortunately contrived in terms of cis-sexist expectations, and I'm trying to raise the discourse for everyone. I thought Lira would appreciate that, since he's academic.

See - JBJ gets it, and doesn't ask for brownie points.

Last edited by nefardec on Dec-04-2011 at 17:08

maybe i underestimate how close-minded people can be because of my own upbringing. i've been around members of the lgbt community since i was a baby - i grew up in a unitarian chuch with many gay and lesbian members, and my best friend's aunt is transgender so that was never an issue for me. i would never dream of referring to her as a "he." it's just a matter of respect. and you know, just for the record, the bi community is somewhat ostracized too. i can't tell you how many gays and lesbians don't believe we're really bi, especially with bi men. i think that's especially sad. the point is, there are misconceptions all around.

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philippe - In MEXICO says: ur the most clever pothead i know philippe - In MEXICO says: u deserve a fucking medal

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Originally posted by prolikewhoa maybe i underestimate how close-minded people can be because of my own upbringing. i've been around members of the lgbt community since i was a baby - i grew up in a unitarian chuch with many gay and lesbian members, and my best friend's aunt is transgender so that was never an issue for me. i would never dream of referring to her as a "he." it's just a matter of respect. and you know, just for the record, the bi community is somewhat ostracized too. i can't tell you how many gays and lesbians don't believe we're really bi, especially with bi men. i think that's especially sad. the point is, there are misconceptions all around.

Yeah I am bisexual too, and actually it's something that puts tension into my relationship with the radical queer community, that I am attracted to and available to straight people, straight men no less. That makes me a 'bad radical' in their eyes. In bed with the enemy and all that

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Originally posted by Lira By the way, Nef, I believe you'd like to see this: A buff guy turning into a hot girl in 48 pictures... Took him 2 years to become her according to this website. Can't imagine how dramatic it must've been for those around him-then-her to follow the changes... you can hardly believe it's somehow the same continuous body.

now what would be really awesome if he went back to being a muscular guy. That would be pretty sick.

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Originally posted by nefardec Yeah I am bisexual too, and actually it's something that puts tension into my relationship with the radical queer community, that I am attracted to and available to straight people, straight men no less. That makes me a 'bad radical' in their eyes. In bed with the enemy and all that

exaaaaactly. no lesbians ever want to date me. they think i'll just go back to cock or something. only women i've ever been with are fellow bisexuals. seems they are the only ones who really get it. the straight guys i date also tend to not take my attraction to women as seriously as my attraction to men. for example, my ex told me it wouldn't bother him at all for me to hook up with a girl while we were together, but if i were to hook up with another man, it would be unacceptable. i'm like, really dude? it's cheating either way you slice it...

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philippe - In MEXICO says: ur the most clever pothead i know philippe - In MEXICO says: u deserve a fucking medal

I think that when a lot of straight guys hear "bisexual" from a girl, they interpret it as "barsexual."

yeah, those girls piss me the fuck off.

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philippe - In MEXICO says: ur the most clever pothead i know philippe - In MEXICO says: u deserve a fucking medal

It's Zeus' birthday today!!

I made him an extra big dinner to celebrate - it's a nice, big, cheap steakie with a nice big bone in the middle, plus some chicken thighs which are his favourite dinner moreso than the steakies I think

It's been a great year of progress and understanding between him and I, especially compared to the difficulties of the latter part of his first year

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Paul

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Originally posted by Vector A I think that when a lot of straight guys hear "bisexual" from a girl, they interpret it as "barsexual."

i think it's just latent (or outright) misogyny.

Yeah, it is definitely a misogynist move, to jump immediately to the "least serious" and most male-focused interpretation when a woman tells you she likes women.

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Originally posted by pmoisse It's Zeus' birthday today!! I made him an extra big dinner to celebrate - it's a nice, big, cheap steakie with a nice big bone in the middle, plus some chicken thighs which are his favourite dinner moreso than the steakies I think It's been a great year of progress and understanding between him and I, especially compared to the difficulties of the latter part of his first year

did you guys break up?