tl;dr/cool story bro:
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU I need to stop lying around and do something awesome.
It's the weekend before finals week. Everyone around me is stressed. I can't get myself to care. Maybe I just have an easy semester, or maybe I just refuse to realize how fucked I am for finals. I haven't been to class in a month, though I've done my work. I feel like the biggest underachiever, yet somehow give off the vibe that I work hard because a lot of people seem to have that impression. Maybe it's because they don't see me having enough fun and assume I'm working instead. Maybe I'm not that proactive about doing awesome things. I'll be out of this unbelievably amazing place in 2 years and I'll regret all the time I've wasted. I should focus on what I have to gain, not what I have to lose or what I'll regret. I'm just so fucking unmotivated right now.
I know i need to fight complacency, be proactive, seize the day, and I do that at times, and life feels amazing, but other times that just feel like empty words.
At the end of the day, I think it's only people that can make you happy. But sometimes I just feel super lonely and isolated, though I have lots of awesome friends. I got out of my first serious relationship (or at least my longest one so far) last month and I just miss being close and intimate with someone.
I know perfectly well that wallowing in self-pity is stupid and unproductive but I just needed to rant.
Last edited by tachobg on May-16-2010 at 04:36