Here's another one... here's another one
Okay here's another funny... erhum:
A man walks into a sex novelty shop and walks up to the man at the cash register:
Man: Hello there. I'm going on a business trip for about a month and I need something to keep my wife sexually entertained during the period of time. She's quite the flirtatious one and I'd rather she not have sexual intercourse with other men. Do you think you have anything that I could purchase?
Man at the cash register:Hmm... well, we have dildos, vibrators, attachments and such, but I don't think there's something that could keep a woman satisfied for a whole month... fat chance.
Man: Are you absolutely sure.
Man at the cash register: Well... (thinks) unless. (pulls out out a box covered hieroglyphics and opens it revealing a green dildo)
Man: But that looks like any other dildo in here!
Man at the cash register: Ah yes... but do you not see. It is a magic dildo created by the egyptians. It belonged to Cleopatra.
Man: Seriously stop fuckin' around and let's try to find an actual solution.
Man at the cash register: (smiles with a look of vengeance) VOODOO DICK... THE DOOR!! (the voodoo dick flies over and starts screwing the key hole of the door) VOODOO DICK... BACK IN YOUR BOX (voodoo dick gradually floats back to the box) What do you say to that.
Man: HOLY SHIT!!!!!... I'll buy it!! How much do you want for it???
Man at the cash register: Well... I don't know. Maybe you're not ready for this type of equipment.
Man: I'll give you ten grand...
Man at the cash register: Hmm... well I thin...
Man : fifteen!!! That's my final offer.
Man at the cash register: er... okay, sold!
(man goes to his house and presents his gift to his wife)
Man: Honey... where are you??
Wife: Sorry dear, I was packing your bags for your business trip.
Man: Honey, look at what I got for you!
Wife: Oh how nice a... a dildo??
Man: Yes... trust me, when you feel the urge simply open the box and say the words, "Voodoo dick, my vagina". Trust me.
Wife: Okay then (confused).
(The next day the man left on his business trip, and in a couple of hours, his wife was extremely horny)
Wife:... Oh christ (thinks of the voodoo dick, goes over to the box opens it, removes her clothing) Voodoo dick, my vagina. (Voodoo dick flies over and starts humping her vagina) OOOH... OOOOOOHH!!!
Time passed and after three orgasms she thought she had enough and tired to take it out but couldn't. She then noticed her husband forgot to teach her how to make it stop. So she stood up, wobbling, got dressed, picked up the keys, and headed for the hostpital. On her way she had an orgasm and swerved off of the road and to top it off, was caught by the police.
Wife: (in a nervous pleasurful voice) Yes O... Officerrr.
Officer: May I see your license and regristation please? (woman takes out license and registration, while handing it to the officer, she accidentally drops it and the officer moans in annoyance)(whispering to himself) That's the problem with people today, no respect for the law... as if driving drunk was a fucking joke (stops whispering and looks towards the lady and asks): Okay... I'll let you confess... how drunk are ya really?
Wife:... It... it's not that I'm d... drunk officer. It's just that I... I have a voooooo... a voodoo dick up my vagina.
Officer: VOODOO DICK!! HAH!... VOODOO DICK MY ASS!!!
We can all imagine what happened from then on
This has been a cover for VOODOO DICK from www.funny.com and brought to you in part by Xylent Productions