quote:

Originally posted by Yoepus Yea, its major popular! It gets about 100,000 hits a day. I dunno why

Maybe you should put some pop up banners with commercials and viruses up there...

Anyway, here go some nerdy jokes..

What's infinity times i? 8

A differential is walking down the street and sees a function. He comes up to the function and tells her "hey, gimme 10 bucks or I'll differentiate you so much until you become zero". And the function goes like "ok, ok, here's 10 bucks". So differential walks up to another function and tells here the same thing. Again the funciton gives him money. So now he's all full of himself and walks up to the third function and asks her for like 20 bucks. And the function tells him "haha, fuck off, I'm e^x!".

There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, 'I've got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.'

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by
a traffic cop. The cop says 'Do you know how fast you were going?'
Heisenberg says 'No, but I know where I am.'

A proof that a crocodile is more wide than it's long:
First we have to proove that it's more green than it's long. If we examine it carefully, we see that it's long only in one dimension, that being his length, while it's green in two dimensions, both in length and in width. Now we only have to proove that it's more wide than it's green. So if we examine it from the top, we'll see that it's both wide and green, but from below it's only wide, but not green! So we see that it's more wide than it's green ad more green than it's long, and therefore it's obviously wider than it's long. QED.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

A red sign on the door of a physics professor: 'If this sign is blue, you're going too fast.'

There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million
keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true.

Calculating in binary code is as easy as 01,10,11.

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there is.

31.69 nHz = once a year.

The square root of three equals two for large values of three. - found in a bathroom in the Cornell Physics department

___________________
1+1=10

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Originally posted by DrUg_Tit0 Maybe you should put some pop up banners with commercials and viruses up there... Anyway, here go some nerdy jokes.. What's infinity times i? 8 A differential is walking down the street and sees a function. He comes up to the function and tells her "hey, gimme 10 bucks or I'll differentiate you so much until you become zero". And the function goes like "ok, ok, here's 10 bucks". So differential walks up to another function and tells here the same thing. Again the funciton gives him money. So now he's all full of himself and walks up to the third function and asks her for like 20 bucks. And the function tells him "haha, fuck off, I'm e^x!". There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, 'I've got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.' Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says 'Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg says 'No, but I know where I am.' A proof that a crocodile is more wide than it's long: First we have to proove that it's more green than it's long. If we examine it carefully, we see that it's long only in one dimension, that being his length, while it's green in two dimensions, both in length and in width. Now we only have to proove that it's more wide than it's green. So if we examine it from the top, we'll see that it's both wide and green, but from below it's only wide, but not green! So we see that it's more wide than it's green ad more green than it's long, and therefore it's obviously wider than it's long. QED. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. A red sign on the door of a physics professor: 'If this sign is blue, you're going too fast.' There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true. Calculating in binary code is as easy as 01,10,11. The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there is. 31.69 nHz = once a year. The square root of three equals two for large values of three. - found in a bathroom in the Cornell Physics department

LOL

Two pieces of tarmac were at the bar arguing over who was the hardest. The first piece of tarmac say "I'm obviously the hardest, I'm from the M25, I have the most traffic driving over me every day" The second says "Thats nothing, I'm from the M1, I have the most amount of trucks drive over me every year" At that point, a red piece of tarmac comes into the pub and the other two run and hide in the toilet. The red piece of tarmac orders a drink, drinks it a nd leaves. The two pieces of tarmac come out of the toilets and the barman asks them "I thought you two were supposed to be hard?" And they reply "Yea but he was a cycle path!"

And a variation...

Two Mars Bars are in the pub arguing over who is the hardest when in walks a Polo. The Mars Bars run and hide in the toilet until the Polo has finished his drink and left. When they come back the barman says "I thought you two were supposed to be hard?" And they reply "Yea but he's menthol!"

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Originally posted by Dervish Family situation is a weird thing. Sometimes it can fuck you up but other times if it is difficult you can gain an edge in life. Supose my family situation was unstable-ish mum and dad (definatly a good influence in my life, made me focused) split up stayed with my dad (not usual I hear). Older brother was/is the local psycho (not in a mentally retarded way, the painful way) who I used to fight all the time (him being 5 years older and genarlly feared by most people). Including him at one point throwing me head first into a solid pine door frame off a bed busting one of my front teeth. And me hitting him as hard as possible with planks and worse. I had to phone the cops a few times on him because he was fighting my dad (who was getting on then but wasn't a pussy and to deal with my big bro you'd get fucked over quick style if you were). Not exactly fun all told having the cops up for that kinda stuff. In a asmall town where everyone knows everything.

So is your brother usually drunk when he's on the rampage? (Trying to confirm/debunk a stereotype of UK males here.)

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Originally posted by Dervish Then there is me fountain of normality probebly desturbingly so. My mates with the most "normal" families are the most fucked up I think.

How are they fucked up?

bahahahhaa @ all the nerdy jokes, so funny

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Originally posted by Arbiter That sounds eerily similar to the reason I'm in Florida to begin with, but all I've found so far is one small piece of wisdom: a long walk heals no scars. No matter where I go, everything is the same at the bottom of it all.

Isn't that kind of a rash conclusion to draw on account of moving from Maryland (I think?) to Florida? Of course, since you're very vague on the nature of the ghosts that haunt you, I can only be speculating here, but I would think that moving to another continent would cut the ties pretty effectively.

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Originally posted by trancaholic Isn't that kind of a rash conclusion to draw on account of moving from Maryland (I think?) to Florida? Of course, since you're very vague on the nature of the ghosts that haunt you, I can only be speculating here, but I would think that moving to another continent would cut the ties pretty effectively.

Not if they find out about that international arrest warrant for you!

quote:

Originally posted by George Smiley Not if they find out about that international arrest warrant for you!

damn you interpol! damn you all to hell!

___________________
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Click here to support the free mustard alliance.

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Originally posted by Renegade Apart from "The First Man", as I mentioned above, I've never really been able to find myself emotionally involved in novels. I can remember getting the "lump in [my] throat and burning eyes" during movies, although I can't remember any specifically atm. ET gave me nightmares for about 3 months when I saw it when I was about 5 though - does that count?

Let's see...hmmm...of the top of my head...books that got to me would include "Pet Cemetary" by Stephen King, Anne Rice's "Memnoch the Devil", and Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman's "Drangonlance Chronicles". Some movies would be "The Idiots", "Moulin Rouge", and "The Fly II". Oh yeah, and the last episode of "Family Ties" got to me as well for some reason.

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Originally posted by Renegade I know exactly what you mean. I've never felt any sorrow about anyone close to me that I've lost (although, apart from my grandparents, I've been lucky enough not to be in this situation too often) but seeing the misery of others - without wanting to sound sound like a bleeding-heart liberal - really does get to me against my better judgement sometimes. In all seriousness, though, I do understand the feeling you must have felt, but it's a feeling I've trained myself - if, indeed, one can ever train one's own emotions - to avoid over the past couple of years. I read in what must have been Nietzsche's "Anti-Christ" (can't remember precisely and can't be bothered looking it up ) about pity being the most vile of human emotions, and I couldn't help but agree with him. If you encounter someone who is clearly encountering certain hardships, you can feel pretty certain that the last thing they want to feel is "pitied". To feel pity is, afterall, to condescend to someone and to feel condescended to, on top of all the other hardships they are facing, must feel pretty damn shitty. That is why, even when I encounter someone facing fairly evident hardships - like someone begging for change on the streets, for instance (pretty common in Melbourne, btw ) - I try to greet them with a smile rather than an sympathetic frown. Afterall, people feeling sorry for themselves would much rather sense of hope, I would think, than pity, regardless of how sincerely the sense of pity is intended.

Well, I'm pretty far from being a "bleeding-heart liberal" (using the US derogatory sense of liberal here), and believe me I never openly show pity to anyone, even if I cannot help feeling it in some cases. Actually, if I could somehow be relieved of feeling awful by showing pity - no matter if the recipients would be worse off by my show of pity - I would do it. However, showing pity is an indulgence to the feeling and it only grows stronger in me if I do so. So no admirable motives here, just pure hedonism.
Oh, and about the beggars: I usually avoid eye contact or signal to them to go away. Mostly because I'm always in a hurry and can't spend time on some random individual, but also because I never give them any money, and in my experience participating in a conversation inevitably leads to a "so are you going to give me some money"-confrontation, sometimes followed by a "why didn't you say so immediately, you fuck"-resolution.

quote:

Originally posted by trancaholic So is your brother usually drunk when he's on the rampage? (Trying to confirm/debunk a stereotype of UK males here.)

Nope just mental. He's not the normal uk male. And most uk males while usually "one of the lads" are not violent when drunk normally just act like arseholes and speak alot of shite, myself included (should see/hear me on some videos of nights out) .

quote:

How are they fucked up?

Well in genral they settled into a nice cosy place when they didn't need to do anything and everything would be alright. Carried this over into other parts of their life school/work and ended up fucking up (lack of effort or a feeling they are doing it for someone else and not themselfs and they didn't need to work).

They then get pissed off that their lives are going nowhere. One close mate of mine tried to top himself actually.

A cousin of mine is at the other end of the scale kinda but the same thing. She's got a seriously good masters degree, went into work for 3 months and desided she wanted to be a lawyer.... back to uni... I think she just want to live as a student. By the time she's done she'll be 30 or something. Staying with her parents in the nice cosy place.

quote:

Originally posted by Dervish Well in genral they settled into a nice cosy place when they didn't need to do anything and everything would be alright. Carried this over into other parts of their life school/work and ended up fucking up (lack of effort or a feeling they are doing it for someone else and not themselfs and they didn't need to work). They then get pissed off that their lives are going nowhere. One close mate of mine tried to top himself actually.

That's me (except for the suicide thing). Scary.

(Btw. it reminds me of the part in the Matrix where we're told that the matrix was initially some nice place where everyone was well off, but that the human mind didn't take too well to that. Maybe those machines were on to something...)

Last edited by trancaholic on Jun-07-2005 at 17:20