Why couldn't they park outside the garage??

Is she that lame that she can't remember a friggin' key?
ugh.

Personally I would have fell back asleep for what that was worth...

and oh yea, unplugged or turned the phone off too

___________________
"...End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path...one that we all must take.
The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass...and then you see it...
...white shores...and beyond...the far green country under a swift sunrise."

Ha ha ha

==============
SOURCE

If the pics don't show up, please go to my post on Something Awful to see the pics thanks!
---------------------------------


I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately.


Fuckin Bees!


A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something.


This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had fucking BEEES living inside it.

The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off.

Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money.

So we did the next best thing. Started fucking with the bees.


My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump.

That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger....



Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan.


INCOMING!


CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees?


RUN FORREST!


Pile O Bees


The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death.


At this point it was clear these little assholes weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering:


Bee incinerator contraption:
- 30 feet of rope
- 1 large fire pit
- 1 science project board
- miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet
- gas


Fill 'er up! Slide the incinerator under the bees and....


IGNITION!


OH THE BEEMANITY


CARNAGE!


Amazingly some bees still survived the first wave. What should we do next?



The next ingredient is 1.5 quarts of PAINT THINNER


OH YES!!!!


12/23 NEVER FORGET


THERE WERE STILL MORE BEES ON THE SWINGSET. CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS. 2 QUARTS OF 87 OCTANE GASOLINE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!


OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.


Tonight we are having Roast Bee


The Aftermath.


Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0
Number of bees killed: est. 10,000
Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so

FOR GREAT JUSTICE!


vSOURCE

Half the world must be looking at this-
Somethingawfull

I honestly dont know how the dumbasses didnt get slaughtered by the bees, when I had a farm I'd let beekeepers set up in places which where no good for anything and they'd just come along and put the hives down.
Pull out the plugs in the bottom and run like hell because the bee's would be insanely pissed.
We're not talking about bee's just being a bit cranky about being kicked around in the back of a landcruiser for a few hours, talking about half the hive taking off and chasing down anyone or anything in the area in a big swarm like I thought you'd only see in cartoons!
My dogs, beekeepers kids, beekeepers, beekeepers wives, the truck, ME! and anyone else too stupid slow or dense to get out of their way got bitten and stung. Talk about a complete clown fight of a job I swear...

You wouldnt go near them without the overalls and net, smoke thingy either after they 'calmed down' and went back in, otherwise they'd literally just swarm out and kill you. Horrible things.

Have KORN on the MP3 player tonight. I love thier sound, the stepped down way they tune the guitars. The early stuff is CRAZY.....A.D.I.D.A.S.

Hey Laz, I meant to call you earlier but I took too long making something to eat and taking a shower, plus I haven't smoked in a while, so I guess I got a little too ripped and slow .

___________________
"The Greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." -Stephen Hawking
"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me— and there was no one left to speak out for me." -Martin Niemöller

Boy was washing his hair.
Even I wouldnt use that for an excuse...

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith Boy was washing his hair. Even I wouldnt use that for an excuse...

yeah, I got this great condintioner that takes at least 15 mins for leave in before you rinse......








[ooopps, perhaps I have said too much ]

^^ Uh-uh, this is my excuse: .

___________________
"The Greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." -Stephen Hawking
"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me— and there was no one left to speak out for me." -Martin Niemöller

quote:

Originally posted by shaolin_Z ^^ Uh-uh, this is my excuse: .

dude check it, I went to spin at another place, house party really, but still in the area, tooooo "drnk" at the moment, but it was somooooothththhthhhh spinning on a coffee table, sitting on a white leather couch................. ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooottttttt

Least by now people will have sobered up and stopped sending me blank PM's...

^^ What exactly did I send you ? And don't post it, PM it .

___________________
"The Greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." -Stephen Hawking
"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me— and there was no one left to speak out for me." -Martin Niemöller