 |
|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
LazFX
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Aug 2004
Location: 9th Circle
|
|
pics might take a bit to load...
Ha ha ha
==============
SOURCE
If the pics don't show up, please go to my post on Something Awful to see the pics thanks!
---------------------------------
I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately.

Fuckin Bees!

A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something.

This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had fucking BEEES living inside it.
The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off.
Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money.
So we did the next best thing. Started fucking with the bees.

My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump.
That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger....

Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan.

INCOMING!

CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees?

RUN FORREST!

Pile O Bees

The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death.
At this point it was clear these little assholes weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering:

Bee incinerator contraption:
- 30 feet of rope
- 1 large fire pit
- 1 science project board
- miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet
- gas

Fill 'er up! Slide the incinerator under the bees and....

IGNITION!

OH THE BEEMANITY

CARNAGE!

Amazingly some bees still survived the first wave. What should we do next?

The next ingredient is 1.5 quarts of PAINT THINNER

OH YES!!!!

12/23 NEVER FORGET

THERE WERE STILL MORE BEES ON THE SWINGSET. CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS. 2 QUARTS OF 87 OCTANE GASOLINE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!

OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.

Tonight we are having Roast Bee

The Aftermath.
Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0
Number of bees killed: est. 10,000
Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
       vSOURCE
|
|
Dec-29-2006 06:11
|
|
|
 |
 |
shaolin_Z
Hei Hu Quan
Registered: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas, USA: TXTA #102
|
|
Hey Laz, I meant to call you earlier but I took too long making something to eat and taking a shower, plus I haven't smoked in a while, so I guess I got a little too ripped and slow .
___________________
"The Greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." -Stephen Hawking
"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me— and there was no one left to speak out for me." -Martin Niemöller
|
|
Dec-30-2006 06:05
|
|
|
 |
All times are GMT. The time now is 08:35.
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
Contact Us - return to tranceaddict
Powered by: Trance Music & vBulletin Forums
Copyright ©2000-2018
Privacy Statement / DMCA
|