In reply to Renegade.

I can definatly relate to the emotions of written words, i have read poetry since my early teens, and have come close to tears on many occeasions, written words can be very powerful, particularily if you can relate through personal experience to the passage in hand.

I find death hard to handle and usually end in tears if the person has been close to me, but there has been other occeasions im sure just cant think of them right now, absolutly nothing to be embarressed about.

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quote:

Originally posted by TranceGiant Mmmmm..... Must be almost 2 years ago when I experienced this "depression"-esque phase. What's strange is that it wasn't technically a depression, to this day I haven't really been able to define it properly. All I know is that it wasn't just "a bad mood", but a real partly pathological problem. It could be best described as a psychotic episode with a schizophrenix touch. The main motive was the lacking sense of reality. Now you might think "cool, welcome to the matrix!". But what seemed "weird" at first turned into an unescapable nightmare, a labyrinth I couldnt break out of. I simply lost this "sense" of "HERE and NOW". The most basic context everyopne doesn't normally even lose one thought about seemed to have gone. In this sem-autist stage I would constantly fight with my own self and try to convince myself that I AM here and NOW and this is not some sort of "dream". I spent the days constantly philsophizing about existential problems, trying to justify "reality" by "Cogito ergo sum" arguments and the such. Blah, this surely sounds stupid but I cannot express it better than that. It really felt like being plugged off and being left in a parallel world, a movie that felt unreal. Now that what remained of my "reason" wouldnt stop fighting this "trip" by arguing against it, philosophically, psychologically etc. etc. Now add to that my naturally given hypochondria (fearing that I'm one step away from lunatic asylum, suffering from an incurable mental disease) and there you have - at some point, after weeks of inner struggle - a total breakdown.

That's an awesome way to get a breakdown, if you're going to have one: Philosophising your way to the bottom of the pit! At least it's more stylish than freaking out over some mundane experience. A british guy I know did the same thing - except he fueled his detour with a lot of drugs as well. He ended up doing some months in a lunatic asylum and have been on a combination of mental medicine and weed ever since.
How did you get out of your predicament?

quote:

Originally posted by Renegade Apologies for my arrogation of this thread from our beloved sister forum,

Taking the debate here because your mammoth post would stand out embarrasingly in the one-liner thread, huh?
No, I'm happy that you chose to share this with us rather than the other Aussies.

quote:

Originally posted by Renegade but I thought it'd be an interesting topic to discuss here amongst the incorrigible machismo of the PDD: when was the last time you (yes you, tough guy!) actually cried?

"Machismo"? Well, I'm happy to be able to prove you wrong for once: I'm a big sissy when it comes to talking about emotions. No problems there on my behalf. And who can forget about the confessions in this thread.

Anyway, crying as in "having a lump in one's throat and burning eyes" I experience on a fairly regular basis. When I read good books or see good movies, I cannot help absorbing myself completely in the narrative, and laugh out loud and get the crying feeling as the story calls for it. Furthermore, I can't stand funerals, as I usually get the crying feeling when I see how deeply affected those bereft of their life's partner are. That really tears at me, even though I never feel any particular sadness on my own behalf for having lost someone I liked. So I guess that last time I had this feeling would be last summer when my grandmother died. (I've only read Don Quixote and seen action movies/comedies/horror movies since then).
As for real crying, with tears and all, that was about three years ago an evening where I was sharing some beers with by best friend. At the time I was working with this guy who was the embodiment of good: He was nearly always in a very good mood, smiled at everyone, had faith in God and his fellow men, was always willing to help, and (of course) was subject to mean jokes and exploitation from mostly everybody. On top of that he had been damned by his God with being very unattractive.
So, we (my friend and I) was discussing some existential matters, as we often do when we drink casually. At some point during the conversation I came to think of my co-worker and how he constituted yet another great proof of the lack of an omnipotent good God, and everything just seemed to click into some flawless mosaic, where I got this feeling of realization of how empty, unfair, and horrorfull this world is. Of course I was intellectually aware of this fact beforehand, but I didn't really get it until that moment. I then stopped talking and tears rolled silently down my cheeks. My friend immediately got upset and started crying himself, because he thought that there was something very wrong that I kept hidden from him, which immediately caused me to feel even worse. So it was a great night. Since then I've thought of that "realization moment" as the point where I became a grown-up.


Oh, about your father experience: It's been a while since I read my "Introduction to Psychology", but I think that it's quite a common development for boys to grow angry at their father at a young age, and not really restoring a healthy relationship until they grow of age. And then, with the realization that they have been relatively cold to their father, they are hit with a feeling of remorse.
Just something to carry with you till you get your own kid.

It takes a lot to make me cry. After everything that's happened to me in my life, I've come to grow a severely thick skin. I was brought to tears for the first time in almost two years last night. I think the two worst times in my life were in Oct of '03, and then June of 2000.

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aka Tits McGee
aka Chesty LaRue
aka Busty St. Claire

Black Adder Goes Forth - Final Episode

You know what's gonna happen at the end all the way thru which makes you sad from every joke about it. Then they go over the top and the poppies appear and altho I didn't cry, my eyes were certainly swelling up

Possibly the most moving finale you will ever see...

quote:

Originally posted by occrider A french carrier is off the coast of Virginia!!! French fighter jets have landed in New Jersey!!! They're trying to use bad credit cards!!! Where's Yoepus?? Grab your gun!! I'll get the car warmed up! Wtf ... the french conduct training excercises over the US? They have a carrier? The pilot should have used the platinum american express card ... don't leave him without it. This is probably the most bizarre story I've read all day.

I've seen a US carrier (off the north coast of soctland) from my work loads of countries conduct exersises in diff counries.

Actually when I think about it I've been saluted and called sir by this huge american airforce guy at an air force base here. When I was at most 17. There where at least 13 of these huge helicopters (Merlins I think but I'll check...).

I'd been flying a glider through the ATC (air cadets) and I held rank (hence stripes) he obviously didn't realise I was just a cadet

Felt cool as fuck walking about in a flight suit with it tied around my waist and shades (sunny day too) and getting saluted by this huge guy who looked and sounded just like the movies. Top Gun is one of my favorite movies


As for crying I don't think anyone has seen me cry since I was 10 or something. I just don't do it really.

Last edited by Dervish on Jun-04-2005 at 18:44

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly It takes a lot to make me cry. After everything that's happened to me in my life, I've come to grow a severely thick skin. I was brought to tears for the first time in almost two years last night. I think the two worst times in my life were in Oct of '03, and then June of 2000.

Did your bf brake up or something? If so, i feel so sorry for you =/

Anyway, as for last time i cried, i donno, but i cry pretty easy... hehe... i think it was a few months back when my host mom was going crazy and i just felt so stupid and missed home and everything. Before that I think it was when I said goodbye to all my family and stuff at the airport in sweden, i wasnt really crying because i would miss them that much, but because my mom was crying so much and i really could see her pain of sending her son away for a year, i felt so sorry for her. When she then called me in Frankfurt already (i had a transfer there), to check so everything was okay and i could hear the desperation in her voice. Again i felt so sorry and when my plane took off from frankfurt i couldnt hold it and i started to cry again thinking of my poor mom...

before that was when my gf broke up a year ago or so, i couldnt stop crying, i was so sad, so in love

You know what that sounds like to me (without the facts obviously)? He wants to break up but can't do it. Either because he can't as in emotionally, that is he thinks (as in his head says, perhaps for some practical reason) it would be a good idea but he can't because he likes you too much, or because he just can't because he can't bring himself to say it to you.

And he's trying to get you to do it for him.

Thats pretty complex, and sounds pretty shitty (especially the not making it home thing).

But if he has done anything maybe in a way it makes it easier for you to deside what to do (I mean if he's cheated, he is a cheater) and before you've made any commitments in terms of where you live and so on which was an issue yeah?

Anyway hope it does work out and he hasn't done anything stupid.

that sounds pretty shitty squirrelly =/ sorry to hear that

have you tried to talk to him about it tho?

so i did my community service yestruday (you gotta do 10 hours of volenteer work in ontario every year in order to graduate), "relay for life".. was like a fundraiser for cancer... it was a whole night thing, with lots of ppl camping and having a good time and stuff.. so i was going to volenteer there from like 3pm to 7am.... anyway, 8pm or so we didnt really have anything to do, and we hadnt really done anything all night... so we were bored... and since they didnt really know where everyone was and they wouldnt miss us if we were gone for a while we decided to go and buy some beer :P and so we did, and then we tried to find a spot where we could drink it without beeing seen (since its not legal to drink in public?).... so first we climbed over a high fence into an industry area, trying to find a good spot, didnt, so we went on, found a still standing train, so we thought that was kinda cool so we sat there drinking beer on the train, doing our community service :P so we got drunk, then we walked back to the area of the cancer thingy, and i lost the others, and then i found some random girls i never talked to before and they totally loved me, so i spent the rest of the evening there, or at least to like 4am perhaps... then they decided to go to bed, but i didnt feel like it, so i found some other random ppl, hung out with them for a while, then found some ppl i knew hung out with them... then it was like 7am and we went home... haha....
so i broke the following laws:
-supplying minors
-tresspassing
-drinking in public
-getting community service hours to drink beer
-beeing drunk when the place is full of teachers
etc

Good job :d


I last night I was out with mates and I desided to go through to Glasgow (an hour on the bus andI had mates going out in Edinburgh anyway) cos I was kinda drunk and it seemed a good idea. Spent £30 on a carry out from the pub (no shops allowed to sell beer after then) went to get the last train through with the guys who were heading home there, missed it cos I was buying the beer.

Got a bus (your allowed to drink on the train here but not the bus) and had to smuggle the beer on. Where do you sit if your trying to hide that your drinking? I tell you where not right in the middle at the very back of the bus, possibly the only place you get spotted drinking.

Had to hack the cap off the beer (not twist off here) with my keys fucking my hand, started drinking.... why is the bus stopping.. lights on hmm the driver is comming up the back... oh busted

I lied and said it was the only one, kept on drinking tho (trying to hide the clink of the bottles as they rolled about and stuff )

Then (the actual point... ) we got to Glasgow with loads this expensive carryout left so we had to drink it in the bushes like little under age kids, same as you StAndrew.

Enough words drunk photos (I'm taking them tho) :d

They look like they are freaks but just pissed (I was more so cos I'd been out since 6)




just need to get some cider or buckfast to complete the underage picture


Piano Hi-Jack in a "nice" place


Guy KO'd (it is Glasgow after all )


and all that beer and whisky has to go somewhere...


British folk may regonise Gary (a guy in the pics as "bannana man" from pop idol, he did it for a piss take, "I got you under my skin" in a tux with a cane and stuff got £3k for a McDonalds advert tho) not looking all classy playing a piano here (note this is not his group or anything just the other shit/piss take pop idol ppl) ...


EDIT:
Had to edit this tons of times cos I'm kinda drunk (sp and just lack of sence) hope you enjoyed my life story

Last edited by Dervish on Jun-05-2005 at 02:33