|Originally posted by Renegade |
Apologies for my arrogation of this thread from our beloved sister forum,
Taking the debate here because your mammoth post would stand out embarrasingly in the one-liner thread, huh?
No, I'm happy that you chose to share this with us rather than the other Aussies.
|Originally posted by Renegade |
but I thought it'd be an interesting topic to discuss here amongst the incorrigible machismo of the PDD: when was the last time you (yes you, tough guy!) actually cried?
"Machismo"? Well, I'm happy to be able to prove you wrong for once: I'm a big sissy when it comes to talking about emotions. No problems there on my behalf. And who can forget about the confessions in this thread.
Anyway, crying as in "having a lump in one's throat and burning eyes" I experience on a fairly regular basis. When I read good books or see good movies, I cannot help absorbing myself completely in the narrative, and laugh out loud and get the crying feeling as the story calls for it. Furthermore, I can't stand funerals, as I usually get the crying feeling when I see how deeply affected those bereft of their life's partner are. That really tears at me, even though I never feel any particular sadness on my own behalf for having lost someone I liked. So I guess that last time I had this feeling would be last summer when my grandmother died. (I've only read Don Quixote and seen action movies/comedies/horror movies since then).
As for real crying, with tears and all, that was about three years ago an evening where I was sharing some beers with by best friend. At the time I was working with this guy who was the embodiment of good: He was nearly always in a very good mood, smiled at everyone, had faith in God and his fellow men, was always willing to help, and (of course) was subject to mean jokes and exploitation from mostly everybody. On top of that he had been damned by his God with being very unattractive.
So, we (my friend and I) was discussing some existential matters, as we often do when we drink casually. At some point during the conversation I came to think of my co-worker and how he constituted yet another great proof of the lack of an omnipotent good God, and everything just seemed to click into some flawless mosaic, where I got this feeling of realization of how empty, unfair, and horrorfull this world is. Of course I was intellectually aware of this fact beforehand, but I didn't really get it until that moment. I then stopped talking and tears rolled silently down my cheeks. My friend immediately got upset and started crying himself, because he thought that there was something very wrong that I kept hidden from him, which immediately caused me to feel even worse. So it was a great night. Since then I've thought of that "realization moment" as the point where I became a grown-up.
Oh, about your father experience: It's been a while since I read my "Introduction to Psychology", but I think that it's quite a common development for boys to grow angry at their father at a young age, and not really restoring a healthy relationship until they grow of age. And then, with the realization that they have been relatively cold to their father, they are hit with a feeling of remorse.
Just something to carry with you till you get your own kid.