Well then it sounds like sleeping with her may have been a good, not bad thing. Feelings developed and you may have missed out on a good relationship.
If she makes you so happy, why are you avoiding her? If you know each other so well, it would make sense that you talked to her about this and how you feel.
Jan-03-2011 09:44
Joss Weatherby
Banned
Registered: May 2008
Location: The Pacific Northwest, of course
quote:
Originally posted by Fledz
Well then it sounds like sleeping with her may have been a good, not bad thing. Feelings developed and you may have missed out on a good relationship.
If she makes you so happy, why are you avoiding her? If you know each other so well, it would make sense that you talked to her about this and how you feel.
We did, that was the tension in the last few years of our friendship.
I told her once that I liked her more than a friend, she sorta freaked, said she couldn't reciprocate and that was that. I got a bit clingy for a bit, but after a while we were good.
Then she started using it as like a fucking nuclear option anytime we had any sort of disagreement or she did something that'd tick me off and I'd call her on it.
She'd respond back like "blah blah I have a boyfriend you know, I won't ever be in love with you" and it would be for shit that wasn't even related to that, out of the blue... We slowly started to drift, we'd get in more and more fights... Then we got into some sort of fight or something, I can't remember what over and we stopped talking for like 6 months.
We met up again after that in the fall, hung out for an evening... and that was the last time we ever talked. She graduated college that coming spring and moved to St. Louis with her boyfriend while he went to grad school... We didn't even part angry.
Thats the annoying part. If I had something to be mad about and to like... justify the not talking... I don't know. Its fucking stupid.
Jan-03-2011 10:01
we_R_DNA
Thermionic Trance Mission
Registered: Jan 2004
Location: Right, Here
quote:
Originally posted by Joss Weatherby
We did, that was the tension in the last few years of our friendship.
I told her once that I liked her more than a friend, she sorta freaked, said she couldn't reciprocate and that was that. I got a bit clingy for a bit, but after a while we were good.
Then she started using it as like a fucking nuclear option anytime we had any sort of disagreement or she did something that'd tick me off and I'd call her on it.
She'd respond back like "blah blah I have a boyfriend you know, I won't ever be in love with you" and it would be for shit that wasn't even related to that, out of the blue... We slowly started to drift, we'd get in more and more fights... Then we got into some sort of fight or something, I can't remember what over and we stopped talking for like 6 months.
We met up again after that in the fall, hung out for an evening... and that was the last time we ever talked. She graduated college that coming spring and moved to St. Louis with her boyfriend while he went to grad school... We didn't even part angry.
Thats the annoying part. If I had something to be mad about and to like... justify the not talking... I don't know. Its fucking stupid.
Jan-03-2011 10:09
Joss Weatherby
Banned
Registered: May 2008
Location: The Pacific Northwest, of course
Yea. Friend Zoned. Kinda no chance when you start out a friendship with a chick when girls were still "icky" and shit...
Then again I was never that type. I enjoyed the fairer sex as a child. Cept ugly bitches. I threw rocks at them.
Jan-03-2011 10:13
Lira
Ancient BassAddict
Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Brasília, Brazil
quote:
Originally posted by Joss Weatherby
Thats the annoying part. If I had something to be mad about and to like... justify the not talking... I don't know. Its fucking stupid.
Nou, have you ever sought the assistance of a psychologist? There's some prejudice regarding therapy, so I hasten to add that I'm not taking the piss or anything, but that's exactly the sort of thing they're able to help you with if it bothers you so much.
My own mother is a therapist actually, and she had the whole family go to therapy for the hell of it (with other people, of course), and it's a quite enriching experience... even though I dropped out because I'd always argue about metaphysics with the hippie therapists my mum assigned to me in my teens, it changed the way I deal with myself (and I'd say that's for the better)
Jan-03-2011 10:33
Joss Weatherby
Banned
Registered: May 2008
Location: The Pacific Northwest, of course
quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Nou, have you ever sought the assistance of a psychologist? There's some prejudice regarding therapy, so I hasten to add that I'm not taking the piss or anything, but that's exactly the sort of thing they're able to help you with if it bothers you so much.
My own mother is a therapist actually, and she had the whole family go to therapy for the hell of it (with other people, of course), and it's a quite enriching experience... even though I dropped out because I'd always argue about metaphysics with the hippie therapists my mum assigned to me in my teens, it changed the way I deal with myself (and I'd say that's for the better)
I have done therapy, though not related to this. I already know what the deal is. I don't have anything better to compare her to.
The trick is making sure I don't, in the future, make her some sort of impossible comparison. But thats not hard. Like I said, she was like a sister, I knew all her bad shit too, and I can focus on that for 2 seconds and see she is just like any other girl.
Jan-03-2011 10:39
we_R_DNA
Thermionic Trance Mission
Registered: Jan 2004
Location: Right, Here
The Friends Zone:
When you push those girls to get what you want; you will find out two things; perhaps more
1) She is a freak for some dirt nasty sex and her boyfriend is just an excuse
2) She is refined and puts up barriers so that she can control the situation to get what she wants.
Recently I met a girl who has a boyfriend and to play the Devil's Advocate I pushed her to see what type she was and DING DING she was #1
5'2'' with Size D breasts that are pierced and she works in the Strip Club
I just played the Devil's Advocate to find out who a woman really is inside; I could easily get my dick wet, but I'm not looking for these types of women in this life
Jan-03-2011 11:07
Joss Weatherby
Banned
Registered: May 2008
Location: The Pacific Northwest, of course
Oh, she is #2. LOL. She explained to me on a number of occasions how when she was first in college, she'd let her boyfriends sleep in the same bed as her, but wouldn't put out. When they'd pressure her to have sex she'd break up with them.
Jan-03-2011 11:19
igottaknow
PerfectTeeth R4 Dinosaurs
Registered: Feb 2001
Location: The Future
quote:
Originally posted by Joss Weatherby
Oh, she is #2. LOL. She explained to me on a number of occasions how when she was first in college, she'd let her boyfriends sleep in the same bed as her, but wouldn't put out. When they'd pressure her to have sex she'd break up with them.
She did it because she was saving herself for you.
NOT!
Jesus Nou still stalking Ally?
Jan-03-2011 14:53
disko-kandi
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Bavaria
quote:
Originally posted by Joss Weatherby
We did, that was the tension in the last few years of our friendship.
I told her once that I liked her more than a friend, she sorta freaked, said she couldn't reciprocate and that was that. I got a bit clingy for a bit, but after a while we were good.
Then she started using it as like a fucking nuclear option anytime we had any sort of disagreement or she did something that'd tick me off and I'd call her on it.
She'd respond back like "blah blah I have a boyfriend you know, I won't ever be in love with you" and it would be for shit that wasn't even related to that, out of the blue... We slowly started to drift, we'd get in more and more fights... Then we got into some sort of fight or something, I can't remember what over and we stopped talking for like 6 months.
We met up again after that in the fall, hung out for an evening... and that was the last time we ever talked. She graduated college that coming spring and moved to St. Louis with her boyfriend while he went to grad school... We didn't even part angry.
Thats the annoying part. If I had something to be mad about and to like... justify the not talking... I don't know. Its fucking stupid.
o m g ...you two sound like me and my 'best friend'. ya..it turned ugly & it still is. no talking for 2 years...no crossing that bridge. although, he was obsessive as hell for 5 years that we lived together as roommates, so I put up that 'barrier' and RAN for it when i got the chance. the end.
Jan-03-2011 16:10
disko-kandi
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Bavaria
sorry, for butting in on your convo, i don't usually venture over to the COR from TOTA - BUT after all these years I have dared lol & I've been reading your threads for a few days now and been doing nothing but laughing my ass off! PURE ENTERTAINMENT!
- but on a more serious note, i couldn't help myself but to respond b/c that's been like a thorn in my eye and has been for years - which has been very painful on many levels for both. i can relate! and it sucks!
Jan-03-2011 16:17
igottaknow
PerfectTeeth R4 Dinosaurs
Registered: Feb 2001
Location: The Future
the funny/sad part is this girl unknowingly gave nou his first erection and he has never been able to move on with his life ever since.