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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > C0r Parents Thread: Yes, It's Come to This
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Boomer187
Spicy Hotdog



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: USA

Story time is killer! We also found a music class that goes to the old folks home. Bunch of kids screaming and banging instruments for an hour in front of really old people is great.


Question - have any of you goldfish-proof your house...or kid-proof it? She is getting into everything as usual, and will stop when I grunt uhh-ahh. But we are thinking is we kid proof then we don't have to watch as much...still watch...but we can be in kitchen she can be where ever. But I really would rather her learn what to get into an not into, which almost seems to catch on.


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Old Post Oct-19-2018 13:49  United States
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

Our home was already pretty kid proof to begin with. Drawers/cupboards/storage for pretty much everything, and we don't have clutter. All we really had to do was put some rubber protectors around hazardous edges of a few things, and I covered the front of our entertainment stand with black mesh (it actually looks good/not shitty at all, hah). Our entire living room is her "yes" zone. We put baby gates at both openings so she can safely play alone if I have to be in the kitchen or whatever.

Oh yeah, and covers on the outlets of course. We have a couple lamp cords visible but she hasn't been interested in those... yet, lol.


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quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Last edited by Silky Johnson on Oct-19-2018 at 15:45

Old Post Oct-19-2018 15:37 
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ziptnf
Programming your future



Registered: Jun 2008
Location: Louisville, KY

We pretty much just have to keep him out of the kitchen for now, the previous owners attempted to tile the kitchen themselves and they did a shit job so the grout is coming up and we don't want him putting it in his mouth. Mostly everything else is fine for him to play with in the living room though.


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Old Post Oct-19-2018 16:04 
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

quote:
Originally posted by Zak McKracken
By reading here it looks like kids is like cats, wild untamable animals that climb on curtains, piss everywhere and bite on all your power cables and chargers? I thought kids were more like dogs, in the way that if you make rules and stand by them they follow and are happy with it? Or is it just the new parenting guideline allowing your little devils eveything compared to when we were young resulting in free and creative minds? At least this is my impression when I see families at restaurants lately. Every fucking place have turned into a macdonalds playground. And these monsters are to take care of us when we grow old and sick? Still not decided on getting one of these lol, but Iím seriously bored at this age so why not, maybe I can teach him to dj a lot earlier than I did myself and he can succeed where I failed lol. Meanwhile I can finaly get back to LEGO.





It's really important for a child's development to be able to explore and play freely/without constantly being told "no." This doesn't mean it's a total free for all and they can do whatever they want wherever they want, it just means they can have a safe place to play and use their imagination. Unstructured play is the best thing for their developing minds, and helps to foster their sense of confidence/security.

And yes, boundaries and limit setting are clearly important, but they also have to be age appropriate. We're talking about infants/toddlers here. Heh.


No, kids are not like dogs lol Jesus. But the way many people raise/talk to their kids, you'd think so.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Oct-19-2018 16:27 
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DJ RANN
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood....

quote:
Originally posted by Zak McKracken
By reading here it looks like kids is like cats, wild untamable animals that climb on curtains, piss everywhere and bite on all your power cables and chargers? I thought kids were more like dogs, in the way that if you make rules and stand by them they follow and are happy with it? Or is it just the new parenting guideline allowing your little devils eveything compared to when we were young resulting in free and creative minds? At least this is my impression when I see families at restaurants lately. Every fucking place have turned into a macdonalds playground. And these monsters are to take care of us when we grow old and sick? Still not decided on getting one of these lol, but Iím seriously bored at this age so why not, maybe I can teach him to dj a lot earlier than I did myself and he can succeed where I failed lol. Meanwhile I can finaly get back to LEGO.


Seriously.

There's this "hands off" thing that I find absolutely bonkers and they give you all this claptrap about "personal development" and "allowing your child to express itself".

It does not need to express itself by shitting and pissing anywhere it wants or not shutting the fuck up in a public place. It's this bizarre combination of basically no discipline and allowing your kids to do whatever the fuck it wants in the name of not "limiting" it, yet these are the types that won't allow their kid to walk to school and brand those that do as "free range parents".

I had a healthy amount of boundaries and it made me respect my parents. I see parents doing this "never tell your child off" and "never say no" approach and know that their kid is going to be like fuck those idiots the moment it has free thought, circa 13.

Old Post Oct-19-2018 17:46 
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Boomer187
Spicy Hotdog



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: USA

I am thinking of just blocking off the kitchen. The rest is pretty much kid proof. But she loves cords.


And I think at a certain age being obnoxious/loud/messy in public is not good...but by that point it seems too late. But I'll find out in the next couple of years Discipline is the next thing we have to learn how to do right...need some youtube vids.


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Old Post Oct-19-2018 19:21  United States
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

Bahahaha! Just have to remember that your child literally does not know what we know, and our job is to help them navigate and manage their emotions and behaviour. I think adults have way too high of expectations of young children (expecting them to just obey like dogs, ahem), and the better you understand where their brain is actually at at each developmental stage, the better you can help them not act like a fucking asshole, lol. At the very least that knowledge will allow you to be more patient/not lose it when your kid is doing something that is completely appropriate/expected for their age.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Oct-19-2018 19:34 
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

To add to that, the goal is to teach your kid how to behave without constantly being micromanaged by an adult with the stops, nos, and don'ts, etc. The older they get, the better they will (should) be able to self regulate. Consistently enforced age appropriate limits. Etc.

I dunno, I don't think it's complicated, but to raise a well behaved kid who isn't an annoying dickhead definitely requires diligent engagement and no short cuts.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Oct-19-2018 19:49 
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Boomer187
Spicy Hotdog



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: USA

^^ plz link to utubez vid of that! I will sit her in front of it and watch

From what I've seen/thought about it all seems fairly common sense. But I am still going to research the heck out of discipline styles/things to do to help etc. Already I can sense a lot of the loud noises she makes is due to not being able to communicate, like you said, emotions and behaviors. I am pretty sure that doesn't change for quite a few of the first years.

Although developmentally, I really wish depth perception would hurry up and develop...so many attempted dive bombs!


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Old Post Oct-19-2018 20:14  United States
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

Lol Youtube vids!! Re: communication, teach her some basic sign language! We have been signing since she was about 6/7 months old and it's helped immensely. More, all done, water, milk, drink, help, change, eat, snack, hello, goodbye, bed time, sleep, I love you, medicine are all signs she understands, though she can only sign a handful of them herself.

www.babysignlanguage.com

There is a dictionary and vids showing how to do each sign.


I agree discipline definitely is common sense. If you are interested, two awesome books are The Whole Brain Child, and No Drama Discipline. Both basically break down what goes on in children's brains when they are "acting up" and how you can engage with them effectively when it's happening.


Edit: one tip that will make your life easier is, kids naturally want to please their parents. So instead of saying "no" to behaviours you don't want them doing, rephrase it into a behaviour you DO want them doing/one that is acceptable. Young kids don't really understand no for the sake of no, and it doesn't give them any guidance as to what they SHOULD be doing. That's why you see the same shitty kids constantly being yelled at "No!", because their parents haven't given them any clue what their "yes" behaviours are. Like, no? Ok what then?

Also, ultimately the strongest factor in how a kid behaves is what they see their parents doing. You can tell them til you're blue in the face what you want them to do, but if you aren't modeling those same things it's gonna be an uphill battle. Monkey see, monkey do for reals. This is really true for things like manners, especially.

Totally obvious shit, but clearly common sense is not common because look at all the assholes around these days. Lol.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Last edited by Silky Johnson on Oct-19-2018 at 21:23

Old Post Oct-19-2018 20:28 
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Boomer187
Spicy Hotdog



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: USA

She has all done down pat. I tried to tell her all done before she was done eating...she let me know she was not done real quick! Other than that we haven't really tried pushing sign language. We are really pushing verbal...but msotly working on walking and grabbing skillz.


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Old Post Oct-19-2018 21:31  United States
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

Yeah just started walking this week!


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Oct-19-2018 22:14 
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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > C0r Parents Thread: Yes, It's Come to This
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