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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > i HAVE to get this outta my mind...
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6iki_Snake
tranceaddict



Registered: Sep 2004
Location: Near Rotterdam, The Netherlands
i HAVE to get this outta my mind...

Jeezzzz i got tons of cramped up anger and feeling shit inside me, im about to fuckin blow. seriously. i feel like really punching something hard, until its dead.

Okay this is going to be lengthly and i know it, so be prepared...


The situation is this, im with this girl, for 10 months now. I really love her. She is so sweet, pretty and all is good. She is my first LONG relationship ( longer then lets say 3 months ).
The only problem i have, she is really really touchy and gets emotional about things FAST. In the beginning i had to be carefull what i said about here. I come from 'the big city' and i can pretty much handle myself on the street and dont take offense that easily. She is like a tripmine( nice metafore i know).

After a small while everything went fine and no problems. But every now and then i do something wrong ( like forgot something, or didnt say the right thing at the right time etc ) and she gets pissed, and i mean seriously pissed sometimes. She calls me names and goes as far as saying: how can you be so fuckin stupid. And i try to do my best. I go to her as much as i can, i call her a hour a day (seriously), i spend lots of money on her. and i really love her. But im a fucking human, i forget things, i make mistakes. What i never do is call her names, be angry at her. Im always very calm and try to talk things out.

Allright, tonight something went wrong because of MISCOMMUNICATION, and this resulted in her, just being at home doing her at home things ( watch tv, read cosmopolitan, etc whatever ) and while doing that she also waited for me to call.

i called her earlier that evening for about an hour long, and in that conversation she thought i would call her later that evening, and in my opinion i never promised that. She calls me up 2 hours later and she starts yelling and saying i cant forget that, and that i aint giving her enough attention and that she feels she means nothing to me ( wich is absolutely not true ).

i spend so much money on her, i get shit from my parents for the phone bill, i spend my entire weekend with her all the time. This, she seemingly forgets!

We just got off the phone, she is so pissed, and i finally said ( still calm ) that i apologize for forgetting, but in my eyes we had a miscommunication therefor i NEVER REALISED that i had to call her. She just wouldnt believe that and she starts calling me names and that i cant take anything seriously ( then she starts to rant about the college wich im in, that she thinks i cant make it, blabla ). Im just: okay im sorry etc etc, and she hangs up.

Im now feeling so much anger, she ALWAYS gets pissed at me, and i never get pissed at her, i always restrain myself. But i can feel it, man.. i couldnt go to thaiboxing practice this week and there is just too much anger left in me man! I care so much for her and spend so much money on her and she just doesnt notice.

Damn im sorry for the lenghtly story and my grammar probly isnt that good ( im dutch, what the fuck haha ), and im just feeling messed up inside. In any way, if you're reading this, thnx for reading my story, just needed to VENT!!


___________________


quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
i didnt read it but i saw a she in there. damn bitches

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:10  Netherlands
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Vivid Boy
TA's GodFather



Registered: Sep 2001
Location: T.O

i didnt read it but i saw a she in there. damn bitches


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Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:12 
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Mebot
Maverick



Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Seattle
Re: i HAVE to get this outta my mind...

quote:
Originally posted by 6iki_Snake

i spend so much money on her,


Well there's your problem.. she probably likes all the attention is most likely EXPECTING you to solve the problem by buying her something.


I dunno, the whole relationship seems so ...COntrolling IMO.. try and put your foot down and say NO and see what happens. Dont cave in and buy her anything.

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:14 
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AndskiSpeed
.



Registered: Mar 2003
Location: stoke

unlucky mate, my ex (8 month relationship) always used to forget all the things I did for her when she felt like being in a mood etc etc etc


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Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:15  United Kingdom
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Floorfiller
Girl + Sweater = Hotness



Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Illegal Pete's

if she doesn't appreciate you...find someone else...

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:15 
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Michael19
Liverpool FC fan



Registered: Jul 2004
Location: Eire

bunny boiler.



trade in for a more hassle free model


___________________
Liverpool Champions of Europe 2005!


TA's NFL survival League winner 2006!

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:19 
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AndskiSpeed
.



Registered: Mar 2003
Location: stoke

quote:
Originally posted by Floorfiller
if she doesn't appreciate you...find someone else...


its easier said than done, at least it is in my situation


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Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:20  United Kingdom
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Stasha
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Sep 2003
Location: Ljubljana, Slovenia

well sweety ... she doesnt love you ... as simple as that ... now its up to you - will you still be loosing time with her or stayed in abusive relationshipt that is not even a relationship

i get mad at my b/f too, but i never call him names ... i might say he is a lazy bump that doesnt clean after he finishes his dinner, but it is said in rather mild way ...

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:22  Slovenia
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Floorfiller
Girl + Sweater = Hotness



Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Illegal Pete's

quote:
Originally posted by AndskiSpeed
its easier said than done, at least it is in my situation


i hear ya

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:22 
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Halcyon+On+On
Liebchen



Registered: Sep 2004
Location: midcoast

You'll be ok - especially if you truly do care for her as much as you say, that usually conquers all.

I know how you feel about the punching bag thing - I haven't gone to a TaeKwonDo class for a few months (I moved away from Colorado recently) and whenever I have troubles with this girl, I exercise until I can't stand anymore. I don't really need to hit something, I just take all of that energy and convert it into focus - I do forms for a while followed by some hardcore kicking reps and then slow kicks. This usually tires me out pretty well, and I feel a lot better afterwards, especially since my mind is usually clear of all the feelings I had before. You don't have to go to class just to practice, ya know - especially for Thaiboxing- just practice jabs and knees in air for about 2 hours... you'll feel better, I'm sure

Just let yourself become calm about it - definitely don't lose your head over this. For a relationship to be complete, it seems that there must be a perfect balance of things attained - when she is angry, you must be placid; when you are angry, she must be placid - it's just how people learn to complement one another. When both are angry, arguments start, words are said, and the people never see each other again. When both are placid, complacency kicks in and stagnation occurs - lack of communication slowly kills the relationship. Be her complement

It's hard dealing with emotional women - they purposefully make it hard on you - but this reaction is just asking for more attention. I wonder, will you give it to her? Will she accept it? For one to be truly sorry, the other must accept the apology - I believe the ball is in her court by now.


___________________
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:24 
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6iki_Snake
tranceaddict



Registered: Sep 2004
Location: Near Rotterdam, The Netherlands

quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
i didnt read it but i saw a she in there. damn bitches


buddy, this remark actually made me laugh out loud! im even gonna SIG it.

but for the rest, thnx for the replies. the music is helping already so im okay, but indeed.. i care ALOT for her, and i know its controlling a bit, but i have the feeling that when i say NO she will get very mad at me, possibly to the point of breaking up. Alot of times i thought about this... but when the time comes, i just cant say it. I tried to do it a bit tonight but it only made her more pissed, i will just see how she feels tomorrow...

as i said, its my first try in a 'long' relationship so i dont know how this will work out.


___________________


quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
i didnt read it but i saw a she in there. damn bitches

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:26  Netherlands
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itsTrueSonic
NullPointerException



Registered: Aug 2003
Location:

it looks like she is in it for the MONEY .. sorry to break the news .. you are doing all the right stuff to steer the ship to the right direction, but it seems like money is the anchor that is keeping the ship from going any furthur.

i say talk things over with her, and ask her "where do you think this relationship is going" conversation... she'll probably break down from there .. everyone does... but you probably know what i mean .. i agree with everyone else..

break it off.

[edit]

either that, or maybe it's her previous relationships she has had or has not had... you definately need to talk to her how you feel. you need to express yourself, and tell her how you feel. probably the reason why she's venting off to you is either she is having a bad day, and doesn't know how to keep her anger to herself, or she is expressing refluxes of past bad relationships back to you.. usually it is something psychological or emotional from within,

Old Post Oct-08-2004 22:27  Afghanistan
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