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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Friday 134: Stolen Car Edition
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JEO
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jan 2010
Location: JKL

Mean? Don't get me wrong; what other reason is there for throwing your kid's stuff out of the house? To "teach them a lesson"? Fucking unnecessary American melodrama again. Feels like this whole kicking someone out of their home thing doesn't really encourage young people to take responsibility of their lives in the right way. There's no such kicking-someone-out culture here at least, yet we have the lowest proportion of "young people" living with their parents in Europe. Kids are encouraged to move out of their parents' house, with or without the help of the parents, not kicked out.

Old Post Nov-17-2017 14:49  Finland
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Zoso
Unicorn Cawk!



Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Dirty South, United States

Look, I know the stereo typical step parent assumptions that get made. And I have no doubt that some step parents deserve it. But, for all of those that are dicks just because they are/can be, there are those of us that genuinely try. I went from single and no responsibilities to married with 2 kids (by different fathers, mind you) in the space of 6 months, and have been married 14 years next month. From day one, those girls called me "daddy" and I called them "daughters". I have never once openly bashed or talked down about either of their dads in front of them. I've always, always tried to balance between treating the just like I would my own, yet stepping back, when necessary, to allow their biological fathers to be as active...or as inactive...as they chose to be. They chose the latter, and that is their loss. They missed out on some incredible stuff.

Old Post Nov-17-2017 14:55  United States
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ziptnf
Programming your future



Registered: Jun 2008
Location: Louisville, KY

Actions have fucking consequences. No better time to learn that than when you're a shithead teenager. Of course 10 years later you are going to look back at that thinking about what an absolute retard you were, and you probably wouldn't do it again, but punishment needs to be handed down either way. Kicking a kid out at 17 might be mildly illegal in the states, though, I think they have to be at least 18.

Busy weekend here, building the crib and dresser for the nursery (painting is mostly done!) and competing in a local swim meet for old farts (they call it 'Masters' but more than half of the people competing are 40+).


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Old Post Nov-17-2017 15:57 
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Zoso
Unicorn Cawk!



Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Dirty South, United States

We have about 1.5 days of good/spring-like weather, then typical November junk. You getting that up in KY, mang?

Old Post Nov-17-2017 16:02  United States
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

I was definitely a shithead teenager, more troubled than I would have admitted at the time. Fortunately always had SOME sliver of a good head on my shoulders - enough to keep me from suffering "life on a downward spiral" type consequences, and at least learning from my actions before it got to that point.


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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Nov-17-2017 16:23 
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ziptnf
Programming your future



Registered: Jun 2008
Location: Louisville, KY

quote:
Originally posted by Zoso
We have about 1.5 days of good/spring-like weather, then typical November junk. You getting that up in KY, mang?

Idk man, looking like rain tomorrow then cold boys. Should be in the low 50's next week though. My hydrangea in the front yard looks rough right now lol


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Old Post Nov-17-2017 16:33 
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Zoso
Unicorn Cawk!



Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Dirty South, United States

quote:
Originally posted by ziptnf
Idk man, looking like rain tomorrow then cold boys. Should be in the low 50's next week though. My hydrangea in the front yard looks rough right now lol


We had a mum or something out there in a pot that didn't make it through a frost or two.

Old Post Nov-17-2017 16:37  United States
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

And a note on deadbeat parents. Deadbeat is not a strong enough word. Now that I have a kid and know all those strong feels of wanting to love and protect your tiny human, I don't know how a mom or dad can feel dead to that. I even see other people's babies in distress now and feel for them as I never would have before having one of my own. I was at the clinic yesterday and a mom was there with her sick baby, not much younger than mine. The baby looked and sounded like shit, and she started to cry and I felt so sad for the little thing, I almost started to cry myself, lol.


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quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Nov-17-2017 16:50 
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Jon_Snow
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Aug 2012
Location: RIP Mrs Brady

quote:
Originally posted by JEO
Mean? Don't get me wrong; what other reason is there for throwing your kid's stuff out of the house? To "teach them a lesson"? Fucking unnecessary American melodrama again. Feels like this whole kicking someone out of their home thing doesn't really encourage young people to take responsibility of their lives in the right way. There's no such kicking-someone-out culture here at least, yet we have the lowest proportion of "young people" living with their parents in Europe. Kids are encouraged to move out of their parents' house, with or without the help of the parents, not kicked out.


I think we can agree as teenagers weve all acted badly. Disciplining a step teenager has got to be that much harder. Generally speaking this type of thing only happens in a dysfunctional family. You're reading too much into to it to come up with an USA vs Europe.

Btw, Im sure orangesto is leaving out the long list of antecedents that lead up to being kicked out. He strikes me as person with a victim mentality and emotional baggage of an elephant.

Last edited by Jon_Snow on Nov-18-2017 at 03:25

Old Post Nov-17-2017 17:31  United States
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SYSTEM-J
IDKFA.



Registered: Sep 2003
Location: Leeds

quote:
Originally posted by JEO
Mean? Don't get me wrong; what other reason is there for throwing your kid's stuff out of the house? To "teach them a lesson"? Fucking unnecessary American melodrama again. Feels like this whole kicking someone out of their home thing doesn't really encourage young people to take responsibility of their lives in the right way. There's no such kicking-someone-out culture here at least, yet we have the lowest proportion of "young people" living with their parents in Europe. Kids are encouraged to move out of their parents' house, with or without the help of the parents, not kicked out.


I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say here. Do you not think that things such as rent controls, housing stock, costs of living, job markets and social welfare have more to do with those relative figures?

I moved out when I was 18, for the record.


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Old Post Nov-17-2017 18:10  England
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JEO
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jan 2010
Location: JKL

Well yes they do. The map and the figures themselves are irrelevant and posted just to emphasize the fact that so many American millenials still live at home. I don't think that still invalidates my point that encouraging a teenager from early on to move out and preparing them is better than letting things go so far that you'll have to throw them out of your home, which I would see as a failure on my part if I was a parent. What will throwing them out teach them? Independence, responsibility? If it "works", then I stand here corrected, but to me that feels like an unnecessarily harsh way to punish (as ziptnf put it) someone for something that might be stemming from a parent's shortcomings to begin with.

At some point you're gonna want your kid to leave your home, both for your sake and theirs, so why not start early? I got my first hint at age 14 as a Chrismas gift, which was a book on how to move out of home, be "independent", what goes into getting an apartment, and so on.

Just as a sidenote for the figures in the map; if 40.6% of the millenials in New York state are unable to provide for themselves, forcing them to live at their parents' house, that's a sad picture. Wonder why North Dakota and South Dakota are doing so well in this regard.

Anyway, even if I was wrong with my original point, I can still say my country rocks then if being able to move out of home at a young age depends on rent controls, housing stock, costs of living, job markets, and social welfare. Which I can see it could.

Last edited by JEO on Nov-17-2017 at 20:05

Old Post Nov-17-2017 19:50  Finland
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wotyzoid
it's not house



Registered: Apr 2007
Location: New Jersey

That map looks legit.


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Old Post Nov-17-2017 20:15  United States
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