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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Getting older and losing friends
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

quote:
Originally posted by JEO
Also, how do you people make "friends" at the workplace? After each workday I'm ready to light the office on fire when I'm leaving.





Lol, so true. I spend enough time with my coworkers, I have no desire to have relationships with them outside of work. I even blocked every person I could find from being able to find and add me to FB, cause I just don't want to go there.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 12:37 
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planetaryplayer
surprime trainandict



Registered: Dec 2011
Location: Pine Tree Valley

the people i met from various work offer me a different hang out experience than my old friends. i get to play boardgames with them or video games whereas my other friends like to talk about infidelity and going to shit parties. i had the urge to go back to school so now I'm preparing for a 2 year course and dedicating most of my free time to my girlfriend. I've seen my friends three times this calendar year. i've been laying low but I'm going insane now

Old Post Jul-11-2017 14:31  Norfolk Island
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DJ RANN
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood....

quote:
Originally posted by JEO
I guess this is only a problem for people who actually want human interaction. I only have about 5 close friends including my girlfriend, and I'm pretty happy about it. I used to have more close friends, but it always went the way that when you bow to someone, you show your behind to others; some friendships got stronger, some faded away. With my current friends we have a WhatsApp group where we talk daily, and we see each other about once a week and do cabin trips and other things together. Can't imagine not brushing my teeth with buckshot if I had to maintain more close friendships than this.


I think that's perfectly normal to have only a small group, especially when you're older that 18. I find it fucking odd when certain people I know need to have like 50 friends they see regularly, and it's kinda confirmed when I meet them that they actually don't have that much in common or frankly some of them are dicks or idiots, but they're "easy" to hang out with, and the fear of not having some huge group of friends is just too much to question it.

quote:
Originally posted by JEO
Also, how do you people make "friends" at the workplace? After each workday I'm ready to light the office on fire when I'm leaving.


You said the part about family and it making you sad that not seeing them enough is a deathbed realization.

You know what's worse? Getting to your deathbed and knowing you hated your job and work life that much that you want to burn the place down each day.

Fuck that shit. Life is too short. Do whatever the fuck you love and quit that job, go find something that inspires. I've never met a happy person that didn;t love their job or career. You're going to spend more at least 1/3 or your entire life working, better make it count, and when you love it, all the other non-work things in your life are better.

One of Jim Carrey's famous quote is about his dad.

"So many of us chose our path out of fear disguised as practicality, My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that was possible for him. So, he made a conservative choice and instead he got a job as an accountant.

When I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job. Our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which is that you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

So when I see people post things like you and Jenny does (all the time) i can't help think it's fear of failure disguised as a practical choice.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 17:28 
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SYSTEM-J
IDKFA.



Registered: Sep 2003
Location: Leeds

quote:
Originally posted by JEO
Also, how do you people make "friends" at the workplace? After each workday I'm ready to light the office on fire when I'm leaving.


Yeah, but aren't you a programmer? You probably work with a battery farm of Lagrangians.

I get on well with the people in my new job. I wouldn't say I'm chasing my dream in this career or anything like that, but I definitely have a good laugh at work, which means I don't dread going there every morning. Often, the people you're working with and vibe of the workplace is as important to job satisfaction as the nature of the work itself.


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> All Night Long: 2018 [Open To Close Set]
> Skipton's Only Prog Night [Warm Up Grooves]
> Welcome To the Future [Driving Progressive]
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Old Post Jul-11-2017 18:14  England
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

People 100% make all the difference. Even one massive fucking dud can poison the whole work environment/culture.

I work with amazing peeps, but I still don't want a relationship with them outside of work. I spend more time with these folks than I do my own friends and family - they are in fact, my work family - and most of the pleasure I derive from my relationships with them is coming in to work and finding out what's going on their life, and not having all of that cross over into my non-work life.

The relationships are just different/separate, and I believe it should be kept that way. Don't shit where you eat, etc. Especially working with women, many of whom are still in their 20s. These young broads have gotten themselves into a lot of shit at work, simply because they bring their outside lives in. But perhaps that's just the folly of youth.

Plus the nature of the job and work environment itself - it's actually vital to be able to leave it at the door when I go home to avoid burn out.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 18:32 
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Trance-M
Since 1994 tranceaddict



Registered: Oct 2005
Location: Limburg, Netherlands

quote:
Originally posted by DJ RANN
Fuck that shit. Life is too short. Do whatever the fuck you love and quit that job, go find something that inspires. I've never met a happy person that didn;t love their job or career. You're going to spend more at least 1/3 or your entire life working, better make it count, and when you love it, all the other non-work things in your life are better.


Something with grass..

Many happy people don't like their jobs. Some people just say work is for the money and can forget about it as soon as they leave the door. I envy those people as meanwhile (after 16 years with the same company, or better say same office/factory) I take my work with me wherever I go. Sure I often think of changing jobs, but I have seen too many people who regret changing instead of really getting a lot happier.

I noticed at FB that many people in our production do meet next to work, more than the people from the offices.


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Old Post Jul-11-2017 18:32  Netherlands
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

I will say I do wish I had more friends that didn't work 9-5 Mon-Fri jobs and could pick up and be spontaneous with me on my days off.

That's the only negative to not hanging with my coworkers outside of work, cause they're the only ones who have as much time off as I do, lol.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 18:43 
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Dykes_on_Jay
Ape me.



Registered: Aug 2012
Location: Shenzhen LBC

Whores and cocaine are the only sure things in life oldbros.


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Old Post Jul-11-2017 20:47  China
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OrangestO
30



Registered: Feb 2010
Location: Berlin

I don't necessarily enjoy the work I do, but it offers me the opportunity to do what I ultimately want at this time in my life, which is travel without the constraints of a typical nine-to-five job. I work in isolation, earn less than I did when I was in an office and it's a week-to-week roller coaster ride based on client need. I don't have health insurance, a 401K or any of that all-important stuff people harp about that helps them feel secure. My yearning to travel trumps all that, though. I had all those things, and they made me feel insecure about the life I was leading because I wasn't doing what I ultimately wanted with my time. I'm happy I took a leap a faith to take this path, because if I didn't, I'd wake up at 60 with a pension and plenty of regrets. I don't get people my age who worry that far ahead when there's time for it, not to mention all the shit that can happen between now and then.

I do wonder how this adventure will end and where. At this time, I have absolutely no clue. I definitely want more financial security at some point, though.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 20:53 
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

I guess the thing is, if you aren't doing work that you truly find meaningful and fulfilling, then you had better at least find work that affords you work/life balance so you aren't dumping all your time and energy into a job. You are not your job. I think many people attach too much of their identity and fulfillment to what they do for work, so it's no wonder they end up miserable.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, yadddayadda.

Easier for some than others, I know. Some people are destined to be drones.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 21:04 
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OrangestO
30



Registered: Feb 2010
Location: Berlin

My good friend from high school messaged me a few weeks ago. I hadn't heard from him in years - he's horrible at keeping in touch, so I eventually stopped trying to stay in contact with him. Anyway, he didn't even ask how I was doing. His first question was, "I see that you're traveling, but are you planning for retirement at all?" I wanted to tell him to fuck off. Dude earns six figures, has two ex wives now and three kids to pay for. We live on opposite sides of the spectrum - financially and philosophically. I definitely sensed he was being a bit salty, though, and I couldn't help but think his unintentional comment was nothing more than a projection of his own misery. Did he really give a fuck if I was saving for retirement? Lol.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 21:23 
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Silky Johnson
Cvnt F^ce



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: It ain't where ya from, it's where ya at

What the fuck? Fuckin asshole. Projection 100%.

I have a friend, same deal. He runs his family business and makes a shit ton of money, but works 6 days a week, has no woman in his life, lives in a big ass house alone, only vacations twice a year to the same places, and goes home every night to smoke weed and play video games alone.

Well he used to always say to me "You could do anything you want!" then proceed to question my happiness/life fulfillment, clearly projecting his own fuckin misery onto me. I say used to cause it's not easy to be around him anymore, for obvious reasons.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Old Post Jul-11-2017 21:46 
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