Dear __________,
Dear craig,
i am becomming more and more obsessed with you every day. i sexually fantasize about you constantly and i already have our kids named and our wedding planned. whenever you send me an email i get so overwhelmed with excitement i can hardly contain myself. oh and if you ever try to leave me, i'll kill you and then i'll kill myself. it'll be romantic.
love,
jamie
dear amanda,
thanks for being such a nice and loyal friend to me while we were in high school. NOT!
ps- are u knocked up again yet?
dear mom,
i love you, but for the love of god, leave me alone and stay out of my business. oh and get over yourself while you're at it.
dear dad,
thanks for helping me pay for college. NOT!
dear stepmom,
thanks for spending all my dad's money so that he is always broke and can't afford to help me pay for college. oh and thank you SO much for all those cheesy fucking cheap ass christmas gifts you buy for me and my sister and say are from my dad. do you think i'm stupid? i know my dad's taste and i know the kind of stuff he would pick out for me and a fucking stovetop plaster scrambled egg to lay your cooking utensils on is not one of them.
oh yea, you're fat and ugly too.
dear blair,
i'm really sorry for being a stupid, selfish immature bitch of a girlfriend. i swear i had nothing but good intensions. i just needed to grow up a lot (and still do) and i pushed you away because i was scared. i hope you can forgive me some day.
go ahead and get those letters off your chest.
___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.
quote: | Originally posted by notelfreak
man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone |
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