tranceaddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Canada - Montreal
-- Joke of the day thread?
Pages (20): « 1 2 3 4 5 6 7  9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 »
A woman is in a coma. The Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge
bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there
is a response on the monitor when she touches her.
They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as
this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out
of the coma."
The husband is sceptical, but they assure him that they'll close the
curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try!!
The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few
minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines...no pulse...no heart rate.
The nurses run into the room.
The husband is standing there, and says, "I think she choked!!"
The Pope and Tiger Woods died on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to hell and Tiger Woods went to heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.
“However”, the clerk explains, “it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified”. The next day the Pope is called and Hell’s staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat.
“Sorry about the mix up”, apologizes the Pope.
“No problem” replied Tiger Woods.
Pope: “I am really anxious to get to heaven.”
Tiger: “Why is that?”
Pope: “All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.”
Tiger: “You’re a day late.”
that is all
Good one Spin
A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass..
A doctor described his condition as stable
|Originally posted by princesultan |
i heard sensation is canceled (red lite event). what a disaster.
"my dump was so big, it tried to break ME in half with a hockey stick"
- friend Gary M, real life quote.
A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.
The girl has been watching him and says:
"You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says:
"Yes .... How did you figure that out?"
"Easy.." she replies, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing leads to another and they make love.
After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with an inflated ego, says:
"Sure - I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"
The girl replies:.....
"Didn't feel a thing."
what's the difference between a washing machine and a girl?
washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you drop your load in it.
horse walks in to a bar.
The barman says "why the long face?"
The horse, being a horse and unable to understand the complexities of conversation, walks to the middle of the bar and shits on the floor.
"Mummy, where do babies come from?" asks little Jonny
"Well, your Dad makes sperm and puts it inside me" she replies
"Do you swallow it Mum?"
"No darling, thats if Mummy wants a new dress!"
|Originally posted by epicaricacy |
she's not posting anymore, did you eat her yankee
when you see people posting about thyroid problems, always replace the word thyroid by cake for maximum lulz.
Whats the difference between jam and marmalaide?
You can't marmalaide your cock down a girl's throat
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed
his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking
chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from
the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in
the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed .
The old man looked off in the distance without
'Grandpa , what are you doing sitting out here with
nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on,
and I got a stiff neck.
This is your grandma's idea!!!
King Louis tries to buy off TranceAddict...
... that won't work unless I get my taste too
Anthony Cavillo and young Mickey Rourke. Is that a water bottle in Swamper's hand?
deux boulettes de viande they play cache cache. hwoooone boulette de viande say to de hother, eyyyyyyy ou ste'cache.
Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh God, here we go.
Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?
Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.
Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...
Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You're not out of in...
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen...
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!
Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.